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Abbott & Costello Buy a Computer

My friend and colleague Dan Froelich shared this with me in an email today and it was too great not to pass along. I got a lot of strange looks while sitting at my desk reading this and laughing out loud.

Enjoy! Thanks for sharing Dan. I don’t know the original source, but I found several similar versions posted around the internet.

You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello,

and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us

who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on…

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, ‘Who’s on First?’ might have turned out something like this:


ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer.


COSTELLO: No, the name’s Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

: I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.


I told you, my name’s Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

I don’t know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals,

track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

You recommended something?


For my office?


OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

I already have an office with windows! OK, let’s just say

I’m sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?


What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue ‘W’.

I’m going to click your blue ‘w’ if you don’t start with some

straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything

I can track my money with? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

That’s right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

What’s bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

Isn’t it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

They can give you a license to copy money?


(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on ‘START’….

Tom King: Used by permission

8 Responses

  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Kelly Hines, Maryann Heinzeroth. Maryann Heinzeroth said: =) RT @kellyhines: Abbott & Costello buy comp was shared in an email with me today. Loved it & posted to my blog. Enjoy http://bit.ly/5y9Byo […]

  2. Kelly,
    Thanks for sharing – I love a good smile at the end of the day!

  3. This is nice. I like it a lot.

  4. Love this, Kelly. In April – just in time for baseball season to start – my fourth graders do a Readers Theater script of this after they do the Who’s on First by Abbott and Costello. Lots of fun!


  5. Haha.. what a nice joke.. i dont know even a computer talking can give a laugh.. but i am seriously give a free info basic about computer..

  6. Haha! This post was so funny! I love when I receive funny forwards that make me laugh. It is so true though! A lot of people today really do not know much about computers and computer software! Thanks for sharing this!

  7. I wrote the original version of this in 2004. In 2005 it went viral, but after the death of my son in 2006, I lost track of things and didn’t realize it was floating around the Internet unattributed till recently. There are even a couple of funny film versions on YouTube. If you don’t mind could you add this tagline to the post:

    (c) Tom King: Used by permission

    I would very much appreciate that so I can at least add it to my writer’s credits. I am flattered that you found it funny enough to post.

    Thanks so much.

    Tom King – Flint, TX

  8. Thanks for checking it out Tom, just posted!

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